Thursday, September 5, 2013

Candid thoughts about becoming a mother

I wish I could be a more regular/frequent blogger, but unfortunately, I'd rather post photos than words, and lately, I've just been sharing photos of my Little on FB and Instagram.

I am sitting in bed with my husband on one side and my little one in her co-sleeper on the other. I really need to take a shower. I want one so bad. I have my six week check up in the morning and a shower is all I can think about. June isn't quite ready for bed yet, so I am sitting with her while she babbles about until she runs out of energy. She doesn't want to be held, just ate and has a clean diaper. She just wants to lay in bed, but if I get to far away, she gets mad. I am trying to save Dave some sleep, so I will wait a little longer for my shower.

Adjusting to life as a mother has been easier than I thought, and also harder... If that makes sense. Things that I thought would come easily to me, didn't and vice versa. But, we are happy, all of us, and that is all that really matters. I really never thought that I could love anyone as much as I love June. She brightens any day that is hard because of a sleepless night. She gives me purpose. One of my favorite parts of the day is when Dave comes home from work and he picks June up and talks to her. She loves her daddy so much and I can already tell she will be a Daddy's Girl.

She is so talkative. She gets this from me. (DUH) She talks while she is eating, she talks in her sleep and she talks to us. I love it. I know once she is stringing together sentences, we will be in trouble, but for now, I will savor her baby babble.

I am dreading going back to work. Dreading it. I keep telling myself that I won't even cry, but I am psyching myself out. I wish I could be a SAHM. Honestly though, I think that I would get a little stir crazy after several months of it.... I don't know... I love taking care of the house. My house hasn't been this clean ever. I clean whenever June is sleeping. It's great. I am totally caught up on laundry, I have cleaned out my drawers, and my closet, (hall closet, coming soon) and gotten rid of a lot of clutter and BS we didn't need. It's great. Less stuff to clean up and around and it was just stuff, so who needs it?

I knew my body had changed when I was pregnant. I watched it every day and even took weekly photos, but OMG. My hips definitely spread. Oy... They were already pretty wide, LOL, but now, even though I am about 5 pounds away from my pre-baby weight, I can't wear any of my pre-baby pants. It sucks. June makes it so worth it, but I can't wear yoga pants to work... I will have to go shopping, and try stuff on (which I hate). I will buy something before trying it on and bring it back to save myself from a dressing room. Oh. And I got quite a few stretch marks. :/ I knew I would. I am prone to them... I thought I was going to get off easy and only have them on my sides... Up until about 35 weeks, that was the case, then BOOM! My belly exploded with them. Granted, they aren't as bad as some women I've seen, and I know I am being shallow, but right now, they make me a little sad. I know I earned them and I should be proud of them, but I am learning to deal with that.

If it wasn't so dang hot outside, June and I would be going on daily skating trips around our hood. Even in the mornings, I feel like it's too hot to have her outside for too long. Maybe later this month.. I really need some kind of exercise besides cleaning the house. I guess I could pull out the ol' P90x. That I can do while June watches and laughs her baby laughs at me. (She doesn't really laugh yet, out loud) LOL.

I have probably been bugging the shit out of my FB friends with my weekly photoshoots of June. Sorry. Not sorry... LOL
I love putting one of her many outfits on her and taking photos of her in it. She better get used to it too!

Hopefully, I will get back into a more normal schedule for posting. I miss updating this with our adventures. Now, for some baby spam....

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