Saturday, April 27, 2013

things you think about when you are pregnant...


  • do i look fat, or do i look pregnant?
  • should i really eat this?
  • can i still fit into this?
  • how much bigger can my stomach really get?
  • can i eat that? 
  • i can't believe i just ate that...
  • why is everyone so mean?
  • why am i crying at this commercial?
  • where is the bathroom?
  • is this kid doing tai-bo in my belly?
  • how bad is labor really going to hurt?
  • what the hell do i register for?
  • who's advice should i take?
  • did i really just rip a giant fart in front of all of these people. AND IT STINKS??! F^*k!
  • i need to be eating more fiber...
  • is everyone pregnant? must be the water....
  • is my baby going to come out normal???
  • will doing this [anything] hurt the baby?
  • do i really need to pee again? i just went...
  • are these really my boobs?
  • are you going to eat that? because i am still hungry.
  • is my baby going to be HUGE? 
  • will my body ever be the same?
  • can i fast forward time a little?
  • can i slow things down a little?
  • i can't believe my husband still thinks i am sexy...
  • well, that was the strangest dream ever.
  • will that give me heartburn?
  • the heartburn is worth it. 
  • omg. these baby clothes are so tiny and cute. 
  • this baby is sitting on my bladder.
  • did i take my prenatal vitamin?
  • i'm so tired. why can't i sleep?
  • is my belly button going to pop out? 
  • damn, my ass is getting HUGE. 
  • why do most maternity pants have a blue panel, why can't it be black, or white?
  • my toes are starting to disappear...
  • i never grew hair there before...
  • are my feet growing too?
  • will my nose ever stop running?
  • i can't wait to drink a beer. 
  • i can't wait to hold my baby. 
  • will i be a good mother?
  • am i doing everything right?
  • what if it doesn't come naturally?
  • how will i know what is best for my kiddo?
  • seriously, how many times have i gone pee today? sheesh!
  • cocoa butter every day. don't forget... every day.
  • how the heck do you breast feed?
  • what if they told me the wrong sex and my baby is a boy and we have all baby girl stuff?
  • what if i can't have her naturally and have a c-section??
  • what if i am pregnant forever??
  • how many diapers will we be changing a day?
  • will i get any sleep?
  • do you ever stop worrying about your kids?
  • what if i am not a good mother?
  • i should probably sleep now... and enjoy it while i can... 

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